Episode 92: You Did the Therapy. So Why Does a New Relationship Still Trigger You? with Marcus Lynn
Episode Details

You've done the work. You've been to therapy. You've read the books. So why does getting into a new relationship still send you straight back to old patterns — anxious, avoidant, and completely unraveled?


In this episode, Marcus Lynn returns for Part 2 of our attachment styles conversation, and this time we go even deeper. We unpack the myths that social media gets dangerously wrong, why humans are literally wired to heal inside relationships (not before them), how technology and dating apps are reshaping the way we bond, and what boundaries actually mean — because most people have it backwards.



Marcus Lynn is a registered psychotherapist and couples therapist based in Calgary, a Master of Counseling, and the voice behind The Realist Therapist — an online brand built on the belief that good mental health content doesn't need to be watered down or dressed up. With a no-BS clinical approach and a trauma-informed lens, Marcus helps individuals and couples understand why they love the way they do — and what to actually do about it.


In this episode, we explore:


  • The biggest attachment style myths — why social media has most people mislabeling themselves, and why you're probably more secure than you think
  • Avoidants are not narcissists — the truth behind the most misunderstood attachment style, and why demonizing avoidants says more about you than them
  • You can't heal in isolation — why five years of solo therapy still won't prepare your body for the triggers that only show up inside a real relationship
  • Anxious people aren't innocent empaths — the hidden harmful patterns that anxious attachment brings into relationships
  • How dating apps and romantic consumerism are breaking our ability to bond — and what we're getting dangerously wrong about what love is supposed to feel like
  • AI and attachment — the very real risk of people forming emotional bonds with artificial intelligence, and what the research is already showing
  • What actually destroys long-term relationships — entitlement, unspoken resentments, and the slow erosion of intimacy by what's never said
  • Boundaries are not weapons — why you don't set boundaries against people, you set them for yourself, and why sometimes love looks like walking away
  • Vulnerability vs feedback — the critical difference most people confuse, and how mixing them up opens the door to manipulation


Join the convo

Have you ever done all the right things — therapy, self-work, growth — and still found yourself triggered the moment a real relationship began? What did that teach you?


Follow us and share your reflections:

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Connect with Marcus Lynn

📸 Instagram: @therealisttherapist

🎵 TikTok: @therealisttherapist

🎙️ Podcast: The Realist Therapist

🌐 Website: https://www.therealisttherapist.com/

Episode cover art for Episode 92: You Did the Therapy. So Why Does a New Relationship Still Trigger You? with Marcus Lynn
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